No really. I'm asking.

Well finally doing an update. Been meaning to do this for a while now but I've been busier than a jazz piano. When I wrote the other day, as you can guess, I failed on my face which is why nothing is up.

NEWS!!! I got my LAPTOP! Vista is not nearly as bad as everyone made it out to be. It's actually not bad at all. I actually quite like it. I'm running home premium. Talking to people at school I've come to the conclusion that people dislike it on principle and not because anyone has any real reason TO dislike it. Nonetheless, My laptop told me her name, Melfina. I didn't want another computer with an anime related name but she chose it. Don't blame me. She's actually really very sweet. I love her lots.

Finals this week. Wish me luck. I'm probably staying up all night just trying to do homework and study for them because I NEED more time. Yeah, that's probably my fault but still.

I'm looking at learning Esperanto. It's an international language that's been around for about 100 years. Essentially it's a simple, neutral language that allows people to communicate without the problems of language. Yes we could all learn English but the point of this is that everyone would be on the same footing in conversation rather than a native English speaker and an ESL speaker. It's supposed to be fairly simple to learn so I don't see learning it as a problem. Might help me asses if I can handle fitting in a JC course or something so I can test myself before outright overexerting myself.

Finding that I'm getting tired of old friends. I love them dearly but these are the ones I'm not seeing for many months on end (no one who reads this) because most of them aren't being friends back which is something I'm getting utterly sick of. I'm just getting annoyed at the human race again. I'm willing to be all-out honest with you go out of my way for you but I want that back. I understand if you can't always but do SOMETHING. You can't just ask me to make sacrifices for no reason and then string me along.

Some new friends interesting. A girl I think likes me. That's odd. I'll state right here and now that I WOULD ONLY EVER CONSIDER DATING SOMEONE WHO I HAVE KNOWN FOR AT LEAST 3, PREFERABLY 6, MONTHS! I don't think she reads this, hell I don't think I've given this to her but I could have and simply forgotten. I do this because it would be all together awkward if I were wrong and she doesn't like me. I do the capped because I have no interest in simply fooling around and what's more I have no interest in being with someone who's not my friend. A friendship must be established first in my mind. This isn't me trying to tell her off or anything but I simply don't know the girl well enough. It wouldn't be fair enough to either of us to waste our time like that.

I lost a friend and to those wondering (that's anyone who knows what I'm talking about. If you don't than it doesn't matter. Move to the next paragraph if you'd like) that doesn't mean you have to choose between me and that friend. That friend is a plenty good person so I'm not even going to so much as say that I don't think you should than leave the choice to you. If you want to be friends with that person than my blessings are on you both and only ask that you remain my friend. I will never tell someone to choose between me and one of their friends. I don't think that that's right and I'm fine with you choosing your own damn friends! This also doesn't mean that I'm going to get teary-eyed or anger-ridden just because you mention you had tea with said person. I honestly don't care! so long as you're happy I'm fine! If the person was making you unhappy, I might care. If the person were causing you harm, I would likely do something. Since neither of these are the case, DO WHAT YOU WANT! Quit thinking I'm fragile or whatever it is you're thinking. I'm not that asinine and most certainly not that childish.

Wrap this up with my dream last night and book list:

So I had the BEST dream last night. I was female again and fell in love with modern day prince charming. That's modern day, and a prince. Not rich son set today or anything but a real prince. My hair was so pretty and I had the most beautiful dress. <3! We both fell in love and were married and everything was wonderful because I actually felt completed. I think I finally have an understanding of what that really feels like. I would say some playful banter without thinking and then the moment I said it I knew I shouldn't have because it would be misinterpreted and he would take offense and there would be a fight and bad things would ensue >.<! But that's not what happened. He understood me perfectly every time. Each time he only returned the playful banter, never misunderstood, and always had fun with me. He was gorgeous too. Not like Heath Ledger gorgeous but close. Different hair and accent. Our castle was magnificent. Not at all like the dream castle I have always thought of but was still so very perfect. I was just so happy. And no, gay isn't happening. Ever. Not even bi. Sorry. <3 Great dream.

Reading list: Everything is on hold for Confessor which I never have time to sit down and simply read because of school but OH MY GOD it's so good! <3!

Alright thank you anyone who read this and thank you more anyone who comments. I need to get back to work now. Sweet dreams all. Love you!